Accountability and progress report, July 10, 2025 edition

State of me and how that impacts my work

 Slightly tipsy, relaxed. I have not read more than headlines in the past 10 days because I've been on a writing retreat, and that has helped my mental health more than I care to admit. We all need breaks, however, and I needed one. I will try not to feel guilty about taking it.

The retreat was productive and useful. 

A Dubious Hope is 99 percent ready to go. I need to buff up the first 50 pages because I made a lot of changes there, and I want to make sure I didn't introduce any mistakes. 

Spending time with my writing buddies is always good for my soul.

Spending time over here by myself after they go is not as good, but also something my soul needs, apparently. 

The artist sent me the cover, which is amazing, and I need to get back to him when I get home; a cover reveal should be soon. 

What I've learned/practiced over the past month

Been practicing staying in learning mindset. One of those learnings was immediate this week: I had proof corrections from two different people on a 400-page book, and I was making progress at the rate of 10 pages an hour because I kept getting lost in editing beyond the corrections. As in, I'd make the corrections, and keep reading, and think, "oh, it would sound better if I worded it this way..." and two pages later I'd wake up and go back to the corrections.

That...was not fast enough.

In the last three days I realized if I'd just pull the pages out of the binder, and set them next to the computer, I could focus on the corrections and not get lost in the weeks of rearranging deck chairs. Tiny little fix, and I went through 100 pages of manuscript corrections a day in two days. 

Learn what works for you and use it. Also, think aobut what time you have and use it wisely. I had four hours left today, so I picked three things to fix, one an hour, and a fourth in case I had time left. When I was done with the hour, I had to move on. It was hard—I didn't QUITE move on with one issue—but I got all four mostly dealt with, dealt with enough I can live with it, anyway. So I'm feeling pretty good. 

Time management has always been my biggest stumbling block, and revision takes me 20 times longer than any other writer I know. So anything that helps I'll take.

What I want to practice next month

 Keep working on the learning mindset, and grace, because everything I'm doing from here on out I've never done before.

What I've been reading and what I've appreciated/learned from it

I'm struggling through Careless People, which is about Facebook, and disliking all the characters including the author. 

Was on vacation last month and read five novels: Starter Villain, The Spare Man, Alien Clay, Shadow Speaker, and Spring's Arcana. My favorites were Alien Clay and Spring's Arcana. The first because the life forms were so awesomely bizarre and the storytelling was mysterious and taut; the second because the storytelling was so rich. 

Like, I wanted to nominate Spring's Arcana  for all the awards because it was like Baba Yaga meets Something Wicked This Way Comes and American Gods, and it was so fucking RICH and sensory and... it came out in 2023, so I missed the award nomination season for it. Goddamn it. 

Anyway. I clearly need to read more. 

Projects status update

A DUBIOUS HOPE: 98 percent done ready for arc copies. Need to re-read the first 50 pages cold, and add a glossary and list of characters.

THWARTED:  Mostly done, but given the page proofs on ADH, I need to go through that with a fine-toothed comb, a style guide, and a primer on commas.

A DEEP BUT MODEST APIQUAI: with the editor.

Short Stories:  Looked at about seven set in the universe; submitted one this week.

Submissions and rejections so far this year: seven and six.

 

Tears in May, but also some lovely art

 Accountability and progress report, May 2025 edition

State of me and how that impacts my work

Scattered, today, which has made productivity VERY difficult. Distracted by the state of the world, a friend's health issues. Made my calls to Senators and Representative this morning.

I took a break mid-day and went for a short walk in the sunshine, and that helped. But this afternoon I was trying to set up online access to two different accounts and... both are finally working, but the problem was my brain and the details I was not paying attention to. That's never reassuring.

To be fair, May was not been the easiest month. We lost the last of our elderly cats early in May, unexpectedly and painfully, and my partner and I agreed to clear the house of all cat things in preparation for a deep house clean and a few months cat-free, and then adopting kittens later this year. A lot of our cat furniture was old, and the house was excessively cat-focused, and it was easier for me to divest of everything and plan to spoil new kittens with new gear than to pick and choose what I was keeping. I kept a few keepsake toys, but ... let's just say the local humane society was Very Happy. I am very grateful to the friend who picked everything up and delivered it for me, so I didn't have to see cats available for adoption right now. Can't do it.

May is also the month of my father's birth and death days (Memorial Day) and my late grandmother's birthday. So. Yeah. There's that.

Cat grief is easier.

Bookwise, it has been a learning and detail month. Lots more Vellum practice, with some publication detail work: metadata; proofing, converting to curly quotes and em-dashes, and a side of rewriting four scenes that I've never been happy with because of the information flow and repetitious character actions/thoughts.

 

Had one extremely panicked moment where I re-flowed the text into the manuscript and the book was suddenly 80 pages longer!!! That impacts spine width, and since I have a wraparound cover for book one, that was a big heart attack. Created a new file and tried it again later and it's more in line with what I originally saw. So. Phew.

Speaking of which, I have an artist for the cover for A Dubious Hope and he has sent me preliminary designs and ... my jaw is till on the desk. I am over the moon with his design. Can't wait to share it! 

What I've learned/practiced over the past month

Practice: Been focusing on LEARNING MINDSET. I don't have to get everything right. I just have to learn from what I'm doing. Let's just say it's been a month full of opportunities to learn.

Bookwise: In addition to the above, I finally broke the book into chapters, and ... it just naturally fell into a dozen or so chapters. Just worked. I'm not in love with the chapter titles, but I'll live. Also condensed my World Encyclopedia from 80 pages to something the artist might actually be able to use. 

I still have next to no arc readers or beta readers, and that's been really chewing on my brain. I do have to get one copy out asap.

Decisions made: going to do paperback in addition to ebook, going to release Aug. 25 (mom's birthday).

Took a short story class through Apex, from Lavie Tidhar. 

Tidbits: Defamiliarisation (a 1917 term): presenting the familiar as alien. Describe something in a way that makes you question it.  SCI FI has to do the opposite: make the alien familiar.  Also, stories should open like a flower, and the ending should change how you look at the beginning.  It was a 90-minute class that sold me on his soon-to-be-published short story, and reassured me that I have a grasp on what I'm doing except, perhaps, for emotional core. Which isn't grand.

What I want to practice next week/month

Continue with a Learning Mindset. 

Continue to set up accounts with distributors, and work on getting arc copies to readers.

Get back into both drafting some new work AND marketing some short stories. I didn't send a single submission in May.

What I've been reading and what I've appreciated/learned from it

I started reading a young adult novel in a world I appreciate and I think I would have liked it better had I been in a better brain-space, so I'm not naming it as a DNF. I was annoyed at the character for behavior that's perfectly normal in YA. Grumpy old reader shakes fist at clouds, no news at 11. 

Also started to read Careless People, a non-fiction book about Facebook from a former employee. Mildly horrifying so far. Might drive me off Facebook as well.

Projects status update

A DUBIOUS HOPE: Cover in progress. Production (layout, proofing) in progress. 

THWARTED:  On hold until ADH is finished. Toying with TWICE THWARTED as a title.

A DEEP BUT MODEST APIQUAI: With editor

Short Stories: Nada.

Submissions and rejections so far this year: still six and six.

Marketing: Did some reading and chatting in the SFWA indie group, and discovered that ads are not recommended until book four.  Well then.

Next steps: Find out what I need to do INSTEAD of ads.

S&W work: Working on a basic placeholder logo.

Other: Critted six short stories for Wordos.

Writing and Accountability Post, March-April edition

 Has it really been... wow. Yeah, it's been two months since I posted last. Damn.

Happy Beltane!

STATE OF ME AND HOW THAT IMPACTS MY WORK

Coming off a stressful month-- travel, even when it's to a fun con, is stressful, concert season doubly so, I'm trying to make decisions with no experience to base them on (the WORST), and then I re-organized the kitchen (which is MY SAFE SPACE thank you and goodDAY) so that left me jangled as well. 

I also had grand jury duty (as an alternate) three full days in March. Interesting but emotionally taxing.

Lately I've been feeling like a bad friend for ignoring several people who matter to me because I just haven't had the emotional energy to reach out. That does not help me feel creative. Meh.

Way back in March, I took a weekend for a writing retreat with a friend that gave me most of my book productivity for the past two months AND allowed me to draft two new short stories and some character development for several more, so that was excellent and delightful. I just got feedback on one of them this week. Also reorganized how I store my short stories this week, and discovered I have at least two dozen or more stories in the universe my first book is in, and WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN MARKETING THOSE? Ahem. I have some work to do.

Was deeply struck by something my crit partners were talking about last night, and I want to talk about that later.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED/PRACTICED OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS

Practice: I've been practicing balancing self-care with staying aware; political action (the standing on sidewalks with signs and the calling the representatives in Washington and the making political donations kind) with making forward progress on a book that feels foolhardy in the current climate but necessary for my own mental health. 

There are days it works better than others.

Wrote up lessons learned during the mini retreat and during Norwescon.

Slimhorn & Wren work: Bought Vellum and learned how to use it to do basic layout; laid manuscript out. Imported interior illustrations.

Researched price points and distribution, wasted time looking for and choosing a cover font and then discovered licensing it would be prohibitively expensive. Picked BISAC codes, wrote back cover copy again and asked for feedback on it. 

I. Hate. Making. Decisions.
I. Hate. Doing. Things. For. The First. Time.

And I've been trying to breathe through it and just make one decision a day. But that thing that my crit sisters were talking about -- that when you love learning and growing, and you choose to learn and grow, you feel fulfilled. You don't need to compare yourself to others' successes or require validation from outside sources.  (I'm butchering their words, but that's the gist). 

I realized I had the opportunity to view what I'm doing as learning and growing, and that I'd be so much better off if I could approach it that way. Not as "omighod I'm going to make the wrong decision" but "what can I learn about this today, and if I choose this particular direction, what can I learn from it going forward?" To view the decisions I'm making not as potential mistakes but instead potential learning opportunities. 

To be less obtuse about it: I've been beating my head against the wall this week re-learning about e-book distribution, and trying to decide how to proceed. Do I choose, say, D2d (Draft to Digital) to distribute my books? Or IngramSpark? Or StreetLib? Which one does arc/ review copies? I was winding myself up about it, when I could just say, "hey, I want to be kind to myself, so for this first book, what if I just have D2D distribute my books, and see what I learn from that? Or I could try to learn the process for uploading to the big four and left D2D do the others. Which learning process am I up for?

Because I'll have another learning opportunity next year. It's a minor thing but I could HEAR my blood pressure dropping just thinking about it that way.

WHAT I WANT TO LEARN AND PRACTICE NEXT WEEK/MONTH

That. Keeping a learning and growing mindset.

Also, shipping out short stories every week.

WHAT I'VE BEEN READING and WHAT I'VE APPRECIATED/LEARNED FROM IT

Read the Nebula short story nominees and a few other short stories recommended to me. Learned viscerally that horror is huge right now, and since it's not really my genre that was a bummer; but those authors do it WELL. A few of those will stick with me for awhile, and I do appreciate that skill. 

Read Coyote's Run and The Poisons We Drink and loved both of them for different reasons. Coyote's Run is short and cathartic and taut and lovely especially if you're into monster-killing (the monsters, in this case, are human). Highly recommend.
The Poisons We Drink made me think of the choices parents make to try to protect the next generation that don't always turn out the way they were intended--in fact, sometimes turn wrong in harmful ways. The author makes a single choice that annoyed me, but it's a book with teen protagonists, and a book for that audience with only ONE choice that annoys this old woman is actually damn fine. A nice coming of age for those who don't want cozy sweetness (it's a harsh world with harsh consequences).

PROJECTS STATUS UPDATE

A DUBIOUS HOPE: I completely laid out A Dubious Hope three times in Vellum, then exported it into word and printed it out so I could read it one last time. I need arc readers so it may go out to them as I do this.

THWARTED: dabbled in rewriting early scenes.

Short Stories: Wrote two new ones and ran one through Wordos. 

Submissions and rejections so far this year: six and six.

Marketing: Lots of research, a few decisions made, some ideas bubbling that I'm actually happy about, no budget set yet.

Next steps: picking a marketing plan and starting work on it. 

 Meeting with the cover artist.

  Actually uploading arcs and asking for reviews. 

  Deciding on a distributor and creating an account.

  Entering the metadata.

S&W work : pretty much all of the above Next Steps, and putting due dates on all of them.

                                                                                                                                                                   May 1, 2025