Once I start meditating again, I'm always stunned that I resisted for so long.
It opens up a quiet space in my head and lets me stay there, when chaos and overwhelm threaten. That's so damn useful.
First I fall out of the habit: no time. Any of dozens of excuses, until it's been a few weeks. Then I find myself actively avoiding meditation, convinced I'm hiding from something horrible; my body and brain are going to tell me I need to turn my life upside down. Or that I'll be embarrassed for being deliberately blind to something obvious.
And sometimes I'll discover the latter, but, yannow, it's all part of ME. Meditation doesn't demand action. It just lets me hold knowledge in a quiet place so I can decide what to do about it instead of being bullied by self-recrimination, buffeted by indecision and self-loathing and the sense that the world is blowing up in my face and I don't know what to do about it.
Meditating doesn't tell me what to do, but it does help me step away from the rather useless "vibrating in place until I melt down" reaction. It would be useful to remember that.
