Analysis epiphany

I asked Eric Witchey to check if my use of his EDACE was acceptable. (He said it was). He noted that I should ensure my analysis of other works was useful to me in my own writing. (Actually, what he said was a bit more complicated and far more articulate; that's my oversimplification.)

During the correspondence I stumbled over an old epiphany.

I quote examples because they let me "see" the images I took from the story, and  in my head those images answer the question I'm asking. But it doesn't make the answer clear to a reader, who cannot see into my head. (Thank your lucky stars for dodging that fugly chaotic sight). 

So I'm having the same problem here as I'm having in my fiction, especially my shorts. I can "see" what I'm describing but the readers can't.  I haven't given readers the right words, or enough of the right words, on the page.  That doesn't mean I'll need more words -- I must pick carefully what I describe and how. It's a grand reminder why analysis of others' work is so important and useful in improving one's own writing. Thank you, Eric!

So, for instance, in "Mulberry Boys," the author's verb choices make George's predicament seem more immediate and compelling; active present tense verbs help put and keep the reader in George’s skin. Her vocabulary choices for his dialogue and internal narrative underscore the reader’s belief in his age, mood, lack of education and reliance upon himself and the forest. Her choices for Phillip's dialogue do the same for his education, mood, values. She relies more on adjectives to describe him, however, or rather as she has George describe him.

Also, what's not there: George's physical description is irrelevant to the story, so it's not there. (Though I was bumped near the end, when he was physically so much stronger than Phillips; my mental image was less burly and more wiry.) The author only describes the things essential to the story: bits that give us Phillips' status and wealth relative to George, George's skills, Phillips' skills, the forest's mood, details of John Barn that show what's been done to him, the surgical tools from George's point of view, the mulberry leaves, the ruined and clean silk,  the roaring river.

Mulberry Boys; Story dissection number two

Number two in a series of story dissection for my own edification. (Probably unnecessary spoiler alert; don't go further until you've read the stories if you're going to. And you should). For each story, I want to answer the following questions to help me in my own work:

Why is the story good or why might it have been awarded/bought.

How does author: 

- do character/alien descriptions

- put the reader in the protagonist's skin 

- evoke emotional truth/reader emotion

- depict character emotion

- create mood

- handle EDACE (Eric Witchey's analysis tool, which I'm employing in a truncated fashion)

"Mulberry Boys" by Margo Lanagan, originally published in Blood and Other Cravings, is the second in my totally subjective list from  The Year's Best Science Fiction and Fantasy 2012, edited by Rich Horton.

Reading to learn; 2012's best and "Ghostweight."

I'm not learning enough from just reading; I need to figure out what the authors are doing that is working so well. And perhaps start to use some of those techniques and skills in my own writing. So I'm starting some posts about what I've read this winter and spring. These are mostly for me, especially since I try to take apart what I've read significantly, so it will spoil the books or short stories for anyone who hasn't read them. 

I begin with The Year's Best Science Fiction and Fantasy 2012, edited by Rich Horton. 

There are nearly 30 stories in the collection. I needed a place to start, so I used a totally subjective criteria;  stories I remembered solely from the title, sorted in order of impact (how long the story stuck with me, how deeply the premise/idea/story affected me). 

This is a combination of how well the title fit with my interpretation of the story (I might eventually remember the story, but the title didn't bring it to mind) and how well the remembered story lived in this reader. 

This initial list is what I'll start with, one story at a time, but I'll probably add to it as I go through remaining eighteen and realize I liked some of them better, just didn't remember them from the title alone. 

• "Ghostweight" by Yoon Ha Lee, originally published in (opi) Clarkesworld, January.
• "Mulberry Boys" by Margo Lanagan, opi Blood and Other Cravings.  
• "The Man Who Bridged the Mist" by Kij Johnson, opi Asimov's, October-November.  
• "The Adakian Eagle" by Bradley Denton, opi Down These Strange Streets.  
• "The Summer People" by Kelly Link, opi Tin House, Fall; Steampunk!  
• "The Sandal-Bride" by Genevieve Valentine, opi Fantasy, March.  
• "The Girl Who Ruled Fairyland, for a Little While" by Catherynne M. Valente opi Tor.com, July 27. 
• "The Cartographer Wasps and the Anarchist Bees" by E. Lily Yu, opi Clarkesworld, April. 
• "The Choice" by Paul McAuley opi Asimov's, February.
• "Choose Your Own Adventure" by Kat Howard, opi Fantasy, April.
• "My Chivalric Fiasco" by George Saunders, opi Harper's, September.  

ADDED:
Other stories from the collection that I want to dissect but whose titles didn't remind me of the story:

• "The Silver Wind" by Nina Allan, opi Interzone, March-April.
• "Rampion" by Alexandra Duncan, opi F&SF, May-June.

 For each story, I want to answer the following questions, some of which focus on areas I'm having difficulty with in my own work:

Why is the story good or why might it have been awarded/bought.

How does author: 

- do character/alien descriptions
- put the reader inside the protagonist's skin
- evoke emotional truth/reader emotion
- depict character emotion
- create mood
- handle EDACE (Eric Witchey's analysis tool, which I'm employing a truncated version of to better understand)

 I began with "Ghostweight," which has really stuck with me. I think it's the strongest story in the collection.