Life in self quarantine, just like everybody else but with an opera rant

Two operas watched* (see rant below). One crochet project -- a dishcloth turned potholder--made. Two skill building sessions down, and revision progress on two projects. An exciting and ego-boosting (and work-implying) editor's feedback gratefully received. One google hangout with fellow writers last weekend, one dinner with another couple. A pie, several soups, and and a satisfying corned beef made. A metric buttload of Twitter and Facebook memes and opinions consumed, and links followed to another metric buttload of news articles skimmed or read in-depth.

No focus to read much of anything for pleasure. Lots of cat and nature videos watched.

Except for my new news obsession, life under quarantine feels weirdly normal to someone who usually works at home. Biggest difference is  my partner is holed up in his office/bedroom upstairs because he's been told to work from home for the duration.

Could probably avoid going to the store for another week -- as a child of Depression-era children, my pantry is *always* stocked -- but it'll be easier if we shop in a day or two. Not looking forward to that. But not complaining; we're sitting pretty comfortably compared to others. Among other, more important things, I'd picked up a pack of toilet paper almost as an afterthought on my last shopping trip. So there's that.

(The obsession with butt wipe in response to a respiratory illness -- in a state that **manufactures TONS** of toilet paper--still boggles me. Panic buying choices are such bizarre things. The best I reasoning I can come up with is, "If I have to kiss my ass goodbye, at least it won't be chapped," which ... is shit logic. There's your crap joke.)

* But I wanted to talk about opera. 

I greatly appreciate The Metropolitan Opera's streaming their performances this week. I've never been to an opera, and this is my chance to see shows that I've heard about all my life. The production values of the two shows I've watched so far -- Carmen and La Bohème-- were amazing. The sets, costumes, props, casts, vocals, music, lighting --all of it, was fantastic. 

La Bohème, as someone said on Twitter, was Rent, or rather, Rent was La Bohème. (I concede I haven't seen Rent. Yes, I know. Philistine). I cried, okay? One is clearly supposed to, and I did. Life! Friendship! Love! Joy! Illness! Poverty threatens joy! Poverty kills! Yep. Very powerful, and the storyline is tight on that theme. Beautifully done.

Ahem. SEXISM ALSO KILLS, PUCCINI. 

Which brings me to Carmen. 

I almost didn't watch the second opera, because Carmen was first. 

What a fucking -- now, bear with me here, because I'm talking about the STORY, not the show, not the cast, not the director, not the sets or design or the masterful voices. But the fucking STORY is (spoiler warning, if anybody on the face of the planet other than me has not seen it), "'Nice guy's values are trampled by his dick; he becomes violently obsessed with and, as a final act of possession, kills the woman he lusts after." 

This is a story that TALKS a lot about love but DEPICTS very little of it. It's a story of domestic violence writ larger than life, grandiose, and it carries the woman's name only because *she's* larger than life and beloved by many -- and brought low by her love for a "decent" man *she knows will kill her.*  With an 1890s edge of "she got what she deserved."

HOW IS THIS A BELOVED OPERA? 

This is the shit show we see every fucking day in crime logs, dismissed with "assault four, domestic violence." 

This is the shit show we see every week in a headline from somewhere, "Local man kills ex-wife and her boyfriend." 

This is the shit show we see once a month or so, "Police negotiating with man holding estranged girlfriend in hostage situation."

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS *ENTERTAINMENT*?

You can see what's gonna happen. It's *telegraphed* by Act II. And still I sat there watching, thinking of all the money and effort and rehearsals that were going into producing this shit show, wondering why the fuck we're still producing operas based in the values inherent in the 1850s. 

Hell, in its lighter moments, Carmen shows women with as much social power and verve as women have today. Carmen herself is a powerhouse, a beauty, and  I mean, okay,  I'd armchair diagnose her as having borderline personality disorder, at the very least major emotional trauma that makes her push away and then smother anyone she cares about, but **we don't kill people just because they're difficult.**

Today, you'd hope one of the *male* smugglers or one of the *male* soldiers would have pulled Don Jose aside and said, "Dude? Really? She pushes anyone who loves her away. She doesn't trust anyone, maybe for good reason. She's said goodbye. Respect her boundaries. Honor yourself! *backhand* Get your head out of your ass! You're no man if your dick is stronger than your self-discipline. Lust is an emotion. Lust passes. It is not more important than everything you value!" 

Women have evolved since 1890. 

A huge number of men have evolved since 1890.  

Is it really only a certain subgroup of the "nice guys" who haven't grown the fuck up?

Because I have news flash: women have better control of our libidos than that because WE'VE BEEN TRAINED TO. WE HAVE TO CONTROL IT. Most men have been trained to control it as well, **and always were.** You see that on Carmen's stage, too.

So why do some guys fall so hard through the cracks from 1890 all the way to 2020?

Because the social values that spawned Carmen and similar works teach them that it's okay for them to cede control to their dicks, because Looooooooooove. And that's fucking bullshit. Lust is not love. Obsession is not love.

Of course women get obsessed with men, do weird and bizarre and stupid and even malicious things to try to win them back. (I'm looking at you, La Bohème). But this whole "if I can't have you no one will" bullshit is an malodorous, ancient infectious rot that needs to be dug out of the male psyche, and our collective culture, with a rusty potato peeler. 

Don Jose and all he represents needs to die. 

Done Well, things I could learn: Timesnip

Timesnip is a Cat Rambo novelette, I believe (30-ish kindle pages) published in 2015 and set in her Twicefar Station universe, which I had not encountered before.

Things it did well:
Introduced an interesting "novum" or concept (time snipping people)

Created a strong-willed, formidable yet slightly naive character, sometimes thwarted by her hosts and aides.

Created a society and characters within in it to foil and aid her who felt realistic, not cardboard villains or sops.

Was very tight (although too tight, I think).

Created an effective world and a fast way to communicate some basic details about it (briefing about the planet on the trip; overview from the assignment).


Things I could learn from what it did well:
Give all characters not just one goal but a primary objective with clear stakes, a secondary, personal goal/s dictated by whims and circumstances

In a political story, leave motivations unclear, behavior straightforward and the protagonist's filter on TIGHT so a cold reader can't tell if characters are betraying her or not, because the protag doesn't know.

Also, consider giving the protag a blind spot based on her whims and secondary motivations -- that was very effective here.


Weaknesses I could learn from:
Did not exploit the possible ideas/conflicts/consequences of that novum except as a daydream device for the readers (who get to imagine the world that will result from the characters' choices). That was mildly disappointing: if you introduce a cool idea, explore it's consequences a bit.

Also, I got a very weak sense of the larger universe. The issues involved in the protagonist's reason for being on the planet, and her end choice, weren't fleshed out enough for me to get a handle on how grave her final decision was for her, personally. (Keep the stakes clear). It pointed to a hopeful resolution of the dystopia depicted, but I didn't understand how it played into the larger universe or if it would have consequences for her (or the peoples involved).

It felt fairly morality-play, but then given it was written during the period Gamergate was heating up, the clarity of the gender politics choice would not have been lost on readers that year.  (if you're doing an allegory for current political life, flesh it out enough that it will stand the test of time -- or be comfortable knowing it's a product of its time. i.e., know your anger might have you missing some of the finer points, and be okay with that.)

City-as-planet syndrome: I have this problem big time, but she was only visiting one city on the planet, so it wasn't a huge deal for her work. She didn't HAVE to travel to different places or experience different climes.

Done Well, Things I Could Learn: A Memory Called Empire

A Memory Called Empire was very different than what I expected.

Perhaps I had read the wrong tweets? Or made assumptions? Whatever I thought I was getting into, it wasn't a political suspense thriller with a protag with memory issues in a space-faring culture with echoes of Mayan/Incan influence. And a lot of angst, which both annoyed me and resonated. I think I would have vibrated with love had I found this book when I was 16-34.

Done well:
Well-written, interesting and intriguing world-building, good plotting (with one caveat that made me set the book down early, but it was essential so I'm gonna go with 'wasn't set up well.').  Did almost too good a job of evoking that longing a reader might have to belong, and not just belong, but to be part of the beautiful people, the powerful, intelligent, poetry-writing, creative elite.

Come to think of it, this book would have *destroyed* me at 16.

Things I could learn:
The plotting does an excellent job of "because A, B, because B, C," where a situation requires the protag make a choice -- and that choice, for good or ill, shifts how people react and requires her to continue to act.

Not everything results from her actions -- in fact many things do not, because this is an Empire and there are many free-wheeling players -- but she is required to act on the basis of the actions of many people, most of whom do not want her to succeed at what they assume she's trying to do.

Also, not all the bad things that happen to her are explained; I'm sure the author knows who is responsible but I didn't catch them all.

 And not knowing who your opponents are when you step onto a game board is a very disconcerting place for a protag to begin, and that was very effectively used here.

All in all, that made for a very effective "protag is definitely protagging" plot, which I have trouble with. Even though the protag was *reacting,* in some cases, she was definitely moving forward despite her fear, and slowly gained prowess at what she was doing. Not sure how to translate that into my own fiction, but thinking, "try taking Mahit-like-action" while I'm rethinking plot might help.

Done well, Things I Could Learn: This Is How You Lose the Time War

Hmmm. Just finished it this morning.

(MASSIVE spoiler alerts, do not read if you're going to read the book)

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If you're still with me, I assume you're not going to read it or you've finished it already. This is not a review, this is reading-as-a-writer for things I felt were handled well and techniques or skills I could use this book to learn.

Things done well AND things I could learn: Swift evocation of setting and scene and import -- felt like it only took a few paragraphs in each of the narrative sections to know what era, level of technology and slip-stream of time (or hint of it) that we were in. I wanted more, but the story didn't require more -- just a few intense details here and there, about things that mattered to the storyline.

Actually, the novella was a craft lesson in choosing telling, story-specific details. The china cup and its colors, the spiders (thematic; they were both trapped in a web). The lumber scene from axe to letter to wood slivers. The horrific seal puns.

Things done well than I don't necessarily want to learn: the casual violence and unending death, writ from two perspectives that oft viewed them carelessly as character traits. Necessary when crafting assassins, but difficult to put out there as a writer, for me. I get it was for a larger message of opting out of the struggle entirely, but still. The lesson, then, is making repugnant character actions real while still creating something of a sympathetic character.

Other things done well: Obsessive love, dear god, the unhealthy obsessive dynamic that yet evokes new and unexpected love for the reader. And that obsession blossoms (ha ha) and creates something hopeful? The unexpected Sleeping Beauty twist at the end. Roses. Thorns. The blood-tainted kiss. Ha. Thematics woven throughout, so tightly braided. Felt like it moved too fast and yet not a single word misplaced. So concise. DEFINITELY could use some conciseness in my own work.

Time travel: I've had trouble with time travel books before, but the time travel in this -- as a WAR concept -- felt so epic and the pace so lively that I didn't have time to object about the mechanics.

I was certain from the second reference that "the seeker" was one of the two of them, and my only annoyance in the book was that Red didn't consider that. I was unclear about which one it was. So Red's quest made total sense to me AND I was so snookered by the time travel premise that I didn't see it as a quest until she saw the "princess" on the hill and I went D'OH. Nicely snookered, hats off to the authors.

2019 Working Goals Review

Pretty pleased with myself in my writerly life (not discussing the other, considerably less pleased partitions of existence). I met nearly all my writerly goals this year. Not going to diss myself for not reading two novels a month given the number of novellas I read, but I am going to try to increase my reading in 2020.

Read 100 short stories, 16 novels, 11 novellas and change (various other works).

I *am* concerned that I utterly failed at my focused skill-building; not only did I NOT identify and practice a skill from each novel read, I only logged 24 skill-building sessions for the entire year!  I did do a lot of untracked revision skill-building in November during my spontaneous  personal "revision and submission" NaNo this year so I might try a tracked skill-building month early in 2020 to get the habit started. Maybe follow it with a revision-and-submission month so I keep those skills alive; that push was startlingly useful. I tripled my submission speed. A month on and I'm already slowing down as I revise.

The goals I met were:

• -X- A Deep but Modest Apiquai revisions honed by April 15 (finished June 30)
• -X- Track short stories read (aim for 13/mo)
• -X- Budget for and plan classes/experiences based on weaknesses
• -X- A Deep but Modest Apiquai on submission to 25 agents by Summer Solstice (took me until Sept 27)
• -X!- (work up to) 13 ss on submission by the 13th/ea month by W. Solstice
• -X- Writing Retreat this summer

Back up to 13!

Back up to 13 submissions in the mail! Yay!

Had a few rejections (and a shortlisting! yay!) So back at it. Three submissions this morning;  only took about 90 minutes, with a break, so maybe an hour, total. Getting faster at this.

Pulling back the veil

A week and change left in the year.

So far I've read 15 novels (three re-reads), 11 novellas, at least one novellete (I tend not to look at the length of the long short stories I read, sadly; one nonfiction book, at least one graphic novel and one author's anthology. My TBR pile is three times that size and clawing for attention.

I'm currently working my way through several "best of" anthologies, may or may not finish those. I've tracked 99 published short stories read so far this year. (I'd better read at least one more!)

Been trying to focus on SF and Fantasy, and read some of the classics I missed, but I think next year I need to broaden my reading as well; I'm getting *too* focused on genre. I miss knowing what's being published elsewhere. I'd probably be happier if I could double this tally next year -- I mean, 29 book-length works (not counting the novelette) isn't bad; that's one every two weeks. Half again to roughly 40-45 works would mean more time reading, but I could do it.

What I'm not doing is spending quality time picking apart how the authors do what they do well; how they created a "real" world, empathy and character/reader connection --  or how, where and why their worlds broke for me. The critical aspect of the reading that would enable the reading to *consciously* make me a better writer, in other words.

I picked up a reading journal (and plan to alter some of the questions to make it more useful to me) am going back through a few of the books I read this year, to see if I can improve on this.

How do you probe a book (as you're reading it or once you've finished) to unveil how the author created its magic? Any questions you ask yourself or practices you keep that help?